Don't Try This At Home

F dressed herself today, and then took her baby out for a nice "walk." I wish I had half her style.

Hope Now Stands Renewed

Random thoughts from the brain of S...

For J and I, the 07-08 year has been defined by loss. Including our two miscarriages, we've had five people close to us pass away during the past nine months. We've become very aware of how temporary, and fragile, life really is. Heaven seems so close, and so much more like home, each time someone we love precedes us there. Like most people, I've imagined what it's going to be like to be in heaven, to walk straight into God's presence. Now when we talk about heaven, it seems so much more real when I think about the fact that I'll be worshiping with Mrs. Libby, holding Ruby's hand, and standing next to J's grandfather. It seems more and more like home, and that much of a sweeter place to look forward to, every time someone we love goes there before us.

During the past two months, I've struggled with understanding the reasons for our miscarriages, and why people who seem to be young and in good health are dying of breast cancer. It just seems so wrong. God has really been impressing on my heart that it seems wrong because it is wrong. We were not created to live in a world where people die. Our hearts long for a perfect world where no one suffers because that is where we are supposed to be. Jesus's death on the cross has saved us from our sin, and also from a world where people are born to die. I'm learning to give up this idea that everything will be perfect in this world, and to hope more and more for the day when I will see God's perfect creation - the new heaven and the new earth.

Totally unrelated...

I'm reading a book that I pretty much hate, but I just want to see how it ends. One of the main characters is a Benedictine monk who is considering leaving the monastery before taking his final vows. He talks a lot about who/what God is, and what spirituality is. He defines God as a "Beautiful Nothing" and says that real spirituality is what he feels when he is outside in nature, not what he experiences in church or while reading the Bible. Interesting idea. What if we defined other relationships in the same way that He defines His relationship with God? Like marriage, for example? Would it make sense to say that my marriage is defined by the moments that I feel warm and fuzzy feelings towards J? Those moments are crucial for maintaining the health of a marriage, and it's wonderful when I feel like my husband is my soulmate and my best friend in the whole world. But I don't think that those are the times that I show him real love. Real love is shown in the moments that I really don't want to do something for him, and choose to do it anyway, even when it means giving up something that I want or even need. Shouldn't our relationship with God require the same sacrifice, if not more? Perhaps real spirituality is not when we stand outside in nature and feel God's presence all around us. Instead, maybe it is when I choose to study His word even though the Old Testament seems impossibly boring and repetitive. Maybe it is when I bite my tongue and show love to the crazy parent in my class who is rude to me every single day. Hmm.

And, lastly, here is a good song.

Timeout, Tests, and Temperatures

I was in Salt Lake City for most of last week while attending a national math teachers conference. While I was gone, J had a lot of fun watching F. One of her favorite things to do was put her baby doll in timeout. We started doing timeouts with her a few months ago and have rarely had to use it. F seems to be a much stricter mother though, since her baby goes in timeout almost every day, and stays there for hours at a time! Check out these pics:

F puts her baby in timeout.

F tells her baby that she come out when she's sweet. (Hello, Love and Logic!)

F decides that baby might be getting hungry, while still in timeout.

F decides that baby is getting lonely in timeout, so she sits with her for a while.
I so wish we had video of this! As it is, pics and videos are getting fewer and fewer. This is because we try to take out the camera and capture whatever cute thing F is doing, but she stops doing that thing and just wants to play with the camera instead.

We think that F said her first sentence! She has been repeating everything that I say, so we've heard sentences like "Love you Mama", "I got it!" and "I go!" for a while now. A few days ago, she put three of her own words together and said "Mama, bread please." There was no verb, but it was still quite adorable.

The weather here is gorgeous! We had one day with temperatures up to 80 degrees! It is supposed to get colder this weekend, but we're loving this weather while it's here. I was talking with my students about Earth Day yesterday, so I decided to put it into practice and walk to the park and to the grocery store today. I guess I'm not cut out to be a "Green Mama" though. For one thing, we were almost hit by three SUVs (other non-Green Mamas, I guess) because Meridian's sidewalks are so strange! There are sidewalks in front of some subdivisions, but there are farms in between the subdivisions with no sidewalks. This forces us to walk on the south side of the street for about 1/2 of a mile, then walk in the street for about a block, then cross a really busy street to get to a sidewalk on the north side of the street. It was crazy, and scary, and I was sure that I'd get a ticket for jaywalking!

We are excited because the Capital City Market returns this weekend! We love walking through downtown Boise and picking out fresh fruits, vegetables, flowers, and herbs. F really enjoys seeing all the other kids, and the dogs, and she's old enough to run through the fountain when the weather gets warm enough. It's crazy busy down there on Saturday mornings, but so much fun.

I really appreciate all the loving, concerned, wonderful responses to my "Remembering Ruby" email. It helps so much to know that other people are praying for us. I really haven't been sad at all during the last week or so. It's amazing how God can replace that with His peace and joy. J and I are both so hopeful for the future, whatever that may bring. I mentioned in my email that I'd be going back to the hospital for more tests. So far, the test results have brought a lot more questions than answers. The good news is that I haven't been in any pain at all! Keep praying for us though, especially that all those doctors would figure things out!


F is so proud of herself for putting on Daddy's shoes.

Our New Blog

Hello Friends and Family,

Rather than uploading pictures, videos, and fun facts about us into Facebook, Myspace, and my email, I'm going to try something new. Welcome to our blog. I'll try my darnedest to update it regularly with all the photos, videos, and stories that you've come to know and love :). You can subscribe if you want , and then you'll get a notice each time I add something new. This blog is open to the public, so I'm going to refer to all of us by our initials. Thanks for reading!

S, J, and F
(Hey, those are my initials from my maiden name! Cool!)